In late January of this year, the small community of Half Moon Bay experienced one of its most terrifying moments, when a man went on a shooting rampage at a pair of farms in the area, leaving 7 people dead. Just a few days ago, terror rocked the country again, when a gunman opened fire at a private school in Nashville, Tennessee, resulting in the deaths of 6 people, three of them children.
It is impossible to hide the sun with one finger. When you turn on the television, the news reaches the youngest members of the household and it is necessary to have a conversation with them to find out their fears and concerns, and, above all, to support them and help them understand what is happening.
In light of this, Dr. Victor Carrion, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Stanford Medicine Children's Health and director of the Stanford Early Life Stress Research Program, and Hilit Kletter, a child and adolescent psychologist at Stanford Medicine and director of the Stress and Resilience Clinic, offered suggestions on how to help children process these tragedies.
How do you recommend that parents have a conversation with their children?
Hilit Kletter asked that you take into account the child's level of development and find a time that you can really dedicate to talking to your child about this.
"For younger children, it's important to focus on reassurance and security. For older children, you can ask what they've heard, what they think, correct any misinformation, and let them ask questions," she said.
In this regard, she stressed that it is important to create an environment that allows children to express their emotions and help them filter information.
What are some of the possible psychological effects on children who hear or see information in the news?
For psychiatrist Victor Carrion, children may worry about their own safety. “If they are preschoolers, first and second graders, they may even worry about whether their family is safe.”
Additionally, she said, because images and videos are now so prevalent across multiple platforms, the psychological effect on the child may be the same as if they were at the scene of the incident, including an increased risk of post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms.
Limiting exposure to these images, she explained, whether by turning off the news or reducing social media use, can help protect children.
What are some signs that a child may need extra help?
"Parents should be alert to behavioral changes, such as increased clinginess in a preschooler, complaints of headaches or stomachaches in a toddler, or withdrawal in a teenager," Carrion said.
The specialist stressed that irritability, increased susceptibility to crying and difficulty sleeping are some of the symptoms that should raise alarm if they persist for more than a month.
"All of these behaviors are often a clue that a child needs help. If you notice these signs, I recommend taking them to their pediatrician or a mental health specialist," she added.
How can parents manage their own stress?
Psychologist Kletter explained that when events like these happen, there are things you can do, such as focusing on what is within your control and using coping skills such as: finding social support among family and friends; getting enough sleep and exercise; eating properly; and making a list of things that help you relax.
The specialists provided a list of additional resources:
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: Facts for Families
National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN): Talking to Children About the Shooting
Stanford Medicine Early Life Stress and Resilience Program
Remember that there is a disaster help line from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration ‒SAMHSA‒, and you can call or text 1-800-985-5990 to connect with a trained counselor 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
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