Gloria Sanchez Aguilar. Peninsula 360 Press [P360P]
How you leave has a lot to do with the pain of loss.
A person who is ill, who goes through the illness with a medical procedure that represents little progress, who suffers from ailments, depression, apathy and, sometimes, rebellion to the treatment, awakens in those close to him/her a feeling of empathy, mercy, pain and suffering that leads them, even, to wish or ask that they do not continue to suffer, that they rest; which means preferring that their will ends early so that the person can rest.
The death of the sick person, in these cases, is seen as a relief, as an act of justice, of mercy on the part of the creator - if they have these beliefs. In this way, although the departure hurts, there is a state of conformity. Mourning - as its name suggests - will be painful, but it is likely to flow healthily until it is resolved.
In another scenario, there are sudden, unexpected deaths that, for the same reason, generate an intense and lasting psychic impact, emotional pain, resistance to acceptance, probable unfounded feelings of guilt, difficult, very painful and extensive mourning processes.
Deaths from COVID-19 fall into this category. People who did not have any condition die, a history that could mean an upcoming condition. These are unexpected deaths and there is no preparation for them. The affected person often dies alone in the hospital. There was no time to talk, to say thank you, to say goodbye and this causes a lot of pain. It was not possible to perform the rituals that one is used to doing at the end of one's life.
The situation is aggravated if there is any friction with that person, some difficulty, an upset, a distance, an unresolved problem... that will really complicate the process.
Today, in the face of what we are going through, the phrase "in life, brother, in life" becomes important, referring to the importance of expressing love to our loved ones now, here. To suppose that it is not necessary "because they already know" is an absurdity.
Today, we are more aware of the fragility of existence, how ephemeral we can be, the futility of living by making plans and forgetting that the present is the only thing we have.
This day of the dead we could reflect on the possibility of our death, that of our loved ones and generate a fuller, richer life. To value what is really important, life, coexistence and love with our own.
