By Estela Calapiz.
When the sunlight filtering through the window wakes me up in the morning, the first thing I do is open it to feel and smell the freshness of the plants; to observe the nature that surrounds me: the trees, the flowers, the birds fluttering around the fountain. I lack nothing! I say it out loud enjoying the beauty that surrounds me and grateful to The Creative Energy.
I am now aware that I am breathing after spending those days in which I could barely receive air and the sensation of suffocation prevented me from connecting with life. It was as if my body was an old dress thrown on a bed.
I have always believed that all diseases are psycho-somatic, they start in our psyche and then settle somewhere in the body. Asthma causes a suffocation of emotions, where one feels trapped without the ability to choose about their own reality. It is falling into a kind of dark hole from which you cannot get out, it is a feeling of not being able to overcome the pain that blocks it and prevents us from continuing with our lives.
In the course of our existence, we fall several times into what is called hell to learn from our mistakes, there is no punishment and even less that god who punishes. The Cosmos has been created and continues to be created with everything necessary for life. So, in the process of facing the challenge of the disease, I took my responsibility, as well as an active behavior in caring for myself.
I relaxed and began to meditate and to acknowledge and accept my feelings. It took me a while, but I think I'm getting there now. Now I know that I had to travel to Mexico to recognize my fears, my memories and my phobia in order to reconcile with the past and continue living in the freedom of being myself.
One of the challenges I am facing is surviving old age with dignity. Do not victimize me with any disease, Parents must be a loving support for their children and not a burden. I feel very proud of this and also that they have never been a burden to me.
In these years I have learned, among other things, to understand what the disease is telling us; what is it that we must change to heal ourselves and, when we truly become aware, we heal. In today I am creating a healthy future. I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
I have the will to live and strive to remain active. I have the Faith that I will continue doing what makes me happy and all those who share this section of the Camino with me. And I say Faith because as someone I don't remember would say:
«Probably of all our feelings, the only one that is not truly ours is hope. Hope belongs to life. It is the same life defending itself ».
I finish writing this on the first day it has rained here in the Bay Area. Instead of making me sad, as it happens to some people, the rain brings me joy when I see how the cycles of nature occur naturally, when I watch the plants cool off, the trees shed their leaves. We are already entering winter! It's time to bring out the coats, the woolen clothes though? Not all people will be able to take shelter and shelter from the cold, not all people? despite the charity houses giving them food, etc.? They will be in the mood to celebrate something.
That leads me to reflect on how difficult it is to help, because not everything is based on money and comfort; there are also people who do not want to be helped.
Letting go of all these musings, I realize that the houses are already decorated with Christmas motifs, I imagine the preparations of many families waiting for the Christmas Eve dinner on December 24, a custom that we Mexicans and Latin American countries celebrate in tonight? or on the 25th at noon, Christmas Lunch as it is celebrated here in the United States of North America.
I hope that also in nursing homes, nursing homes, intensive care homes; have this festive atmosphere outside. I wish that the relatives of these people visit them and that the children give their parents that loving hug that they are waiting for so much. It is known that many charitable people will come to bring them gifts, perhaps even music. But I know very well that nothing replaces the hug of the children, even once a year.
I wish, that in these Holidays we not only think about Food, which will surely be the best? Each dish carefully prepared according to the customs of the different countries? I wish that in each Family the acceptance of each and every one of its members would arise: without judgments, without claims, without lawsuits, without grudges, without envy and we could give ourselves the best gift we could give: forgiveness!
More about Estela Calapiz: Importance of the Tea Ceremony
Facebook: Ma. Estela Calapiz
