A blue door with a lion-shaped knocker protects the home of Jiawei and Manuel, better known as Manny, who happily welcome us to talk with them about their multicultural love story.
Love knows no boundaries, and the coming together of different cultures in relationships is a testament to the diversity and richness of human connections. In the case of Jiawei and Manny, it is a testament to the intricate embroidery of cultural similarities and differences.
Jiawei Wang is the eldest son of a family from Baoji, China. His parents own a ship gear company, but Jiawei sought his own path and is now a kinesiologist trained at San Francisco State University.
While Manny Vargas, now Wang, born in Las Vegas to Mexican parents, is the middle brother of a total of five, and became a physician assistant for otolaryngologists.
The chemistry between the two is evident in the smiles they flash when they look into each other's eyes to answer the interview they kindly gave to Peninsula 360 Press. The physical attraction they feel for each other is evident: Jiawei is affectionate and shows his love by clinging to his partner.
China and Mexico, two countries with distinct histories, traditions and languages, provide a fascinating backdrop for this intercultural love story. The fusion of the two incorporates a multitude of customs, celebrations and family values, creating a unique and vibrant embroidery of experiences.
Manny has always been interested in Chinese culture, he explains. “In that respect, I really like to ask Gugo – as he affectionately calls Jiawei – about the particular celebrations of certain regions, or the food used at those festivals.”
They tell us that they now share traditions from both countries at home. During the Lunar New Year, for example, Jiawei brings home lanterns and signs with good wishes, with which they decorate their house together. She also takes care of buying the food.
The two countries have a rich culinary heritage. From the tantalizing flavors of Chinese cuisine, with its emphasis on regional specialties and delicate balance of ingredients, to the vast array of Mexican dishes, the Wang couple explore and appreciate the delicious fusion that emerges from the combination of these two culinary traditions.
It is in the kitchen where the Wangs strengthen their bond under the same roof. Cooking is an act of love, says Manny. Jiawei prepares dishes from her culture at home, which she gets from her mother, we are told, who is also a very good cook. Jiawei even bought a cookie-making kit and baked some for Manny as a daily sign of her affection. “He cooks very well,” Manny tells Peninsula 360 Press.
For his part, Manny invites Jiawei to participate in Mexican traditions, where food plays a leading role. Jiawei enjoys the celebration on January 6, when the Three Wise Men arrive at night and the Rosca is shared with the family. He also likes to participate in the Candelaria, on February 2, because of the abundance of tamales that are served that night, as well as the Christmas dinner because of the cod that is prepared.
But not everything has been smooth sailing, as things have not been so simple for Jiawei and Manny as an intercultural gay couple.
Language is one place where certain differences have arisen. Although they use English as the primary vehicle of communication in their relationship, it is not the native language for either of them. Chinese, with its complex characters and tonal nature, contrasts with Spanish, which is a Romance language.
Specific characteristics of each culture have been both an advantage and a disadvantage for both. “Asian culture is very disciplined, while Mexican is more spontaneous,” Manny says. Although he admires Jiawei’s disciplined approach to life, he sometimes wishes there was more flexibility and good surprises. Despite this, they have managed to create a good rhythm in their daily lives.
The challenges have not always arisen within the couple, but sometimes they have experienced pressure and tension from outside, specifically because of their sexual orientation and ethnicity. Both Chinese and Mexican cultures are quite closed to homosexuality.
Chinese culture has a deep history influenced by Confucianism, which prioritizes traditional family values and hierarchical relationships. Traditional Mexican society, influenced by Catholicism, still maintains conservative positions on homosexuality, considering it contrary to religious teachings and social norms.
This has led the Wang couple to live, in a way, isolated and hidden even from some relatives.
They chose the month of June to get married because it is known worldwide as pride month.
We traveled to Kona, Hawaii, to follow the story of this couple on their wedding anniversary trip. The purpose of this trip was to openly celebrate their recent marriage with family and friends, who accompanied them.
One of the celebrations would take place at a Luau in Royal Hotel in KonaThe evening went by without any major incidents, they took photos as a couple and as a family, until it was time for the announcements by the master of ceremonies with the microphone and the song that would be dedicated to them for their love.
The couple was eagerly awaiting the public announcement of their marriage, but their names were never heard. This journalist approached the stage while the song was playing and, at one point, told the singer that he had forgotten to mention the couple, who had, of course, written down their names previously.
“Mrs. and Mrs. Wang just got married,” I said. I saw the confusion on his face. “Mr. and Mrs. Wang?” he asked. “No,” I clarified, “Mr. and Mr. Wang.” He didn’t understand.
“Mrs. and Mrs. Wang?” he asked again. “No.” I raised my voice, “It’s Mr. and Mrs. Wang, two men who just got married.” The emcee hesitated, took the microphone and awkwardly announced, “Mr. and Mrs. Wang are celebrating their anniversary.”
This is just one example of how gay couples suffer invisibility due to discrimination against their community, as society marginalizes and suppresses these relationships and identities.
It occurs when couples' experiences, challenges, and contributions are overlooked, disregarded or intentionally ignored, often due to heteronormative assumptions or prejudices. Invisibilizing is a form of discrimination..
During the Wang couple's trip, unfortunately, the experience at the Luau was not the only one where we could observe obvious discrimination, both homophobic and racist, towards the couple.
The couple, accompanied by family and friends, visited the town of Hilo where the delicious restaurant Pineapples Island Fresh Cuisine opened its doors to us and accommodated 25 people at three tables.
Between piña colada cocktails, margaritas and mojitos, the matriarch of the congregation announced a toast to the newlyweds, Jiawei and Manny, who briefly stood up to the applause and jubilation of their companions and the surrounding tables.
However, the news was not well received by other diners, who, instead of applauding and joining in the celebration, whispered amongst themselves with looks of disgust, hatred or perhaps fear. Luckily, the violent attitude did not escalate and remained in a silence overshadowed by the noise of the three tables of cheerleaders accompanying the bride and groom.
When asked what they felt about what happened, they suggested that there was a kind of double discrimination. It is difficult to know if those glances were due to the union of someone whose features clearly refer to someone Asian with someone dark-skinned and Mexican; or if it was due to the celebration of the marriage between two men.
In general, LGBTQ+ people, not only in Chinese and Mexican cultures, but across the board, are experiencing greater acceptance and inclusion. But it is a constant and ongoing struggle, as there are still challenges to overcome and work to be done.
This inspiring couple embraces and celebrates their cultural differences and similarities through their relationship. They share their customs and traditions of Chinese and Mexican origin, creating a beautiful blend that reflects their love and shared experiences. They learn from each other, able to grow together in a unique and meaningful way.
The increasing visibility and activism within these cultures indicates a greater understanding of the importance of embracing diversity and advocating for equal rights, regardless of a person's sexual orientation or background.
This intercultural couple hasn't had it easy. Their story challenges stereotypes, fosters personal growth and cultural enrichment.
Facing the tide of discrimination with love is more than admirable, as it acts as a symbol of love and acceptance in an increasingly interconnected world; it promotes understanding, contributes to a more just and equitable society, and takes a step towards a multicultural and inclusive future.
This publication was supported in whole or part by funding provided by the State of California, administered by the California State Library.
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