Gloria Sánchez Aguilar. Peninsula 360 Press [P360P].
The manner of departure has much to do with the pain generated by the loss.
A person who is ill, who goes through the disease with a medical procedure that represents little progress, who suffers from ailments, depression, apathy and, sometimes, rebellion to treatment, awakens in those close to them a feeling of empathy, mercy, pain and suffering that even leads them to wish or ask that they do not continue to suffer, that they rest; which means preferring that their will ends early to allow the person to rest.
The death of the sick person, in these cases, is seen as a relief, as an act of justice, of mercy on the part of the creator - if they have these beliefs. Thus, although the departure hurts, there is a state of conformity. The mourning - as the name implies - will be painful, but it is likely to flow healthily to resolution.
In another scenario, there are sudden, unexpected deaths which, by the same token, generate an intense and lasting psychic impact, emotional pain, resistance to acceptance, probable unfounded feelings of guilt, difficult, very painful and extensive mourning processes.
Deaths from COVID-19 fall into this category. They are deaths of people who had no medical condition, no history that could imply a proximate condition. They are unexpected deaths and there is no preparation for them. The affected person often dies alone in the hospital. There was no time to talk, to thank, to say goodbye and this produces a lot of pain. It was not possible to perform the rites that are customary at the end of a life.
The situation is aggravated if there was some friction with that person, some difficulty, an unpleasantness, an estrangement, an unresolved problem... that will complicate the process.
Today, in view of what we are going through, the phrase "in life, brother, in life" takes on importance, which refers to the importance of expressing love to our loved ones now, here. To assume that it is not necessary "because they already know" is an absurdity.
Today, we are clearer about the fragility of existence, how ephemeral we can be, the uselessness of living making plans and forgetting that the present is the only thing we have.
This Day of the Dead we could reflect on the possibility of our death, of the death of our loved ones and generate a fuller, richer life. To value what is really important, life, coexistence and love with our loved ones.
