Gloria Sanchez Aguilar. Peninsula 360 Press [P360P].
Christmas is possibly the most emotionally charged time of year. We feel everything from excitement and joy to sadness and longing.
The Christmas holidays are one of the most depressing times of the year for people. This phenomenon affects 20 percent of the world's population. People are apathetic, sad and very sensitive. Why does this happen?
The demand to be cheerful
We are exposed to many advertising messages and cultural traditions that seem to "require" us to be happy, in family, with peace and love.
Reality does not always coincide with this state of company and affection. Many people find themselves alone or with recent losses of loved ones, due to breakups, separations or deaths. At this time it is very likely that feelings of longing and sadness for their absence will be intensified. This situation will be magnified this year due to the ravages of the pandemic.
Cultural and commercial messages can then seem impossible to meet. Our perception of isolation, that we are not loved, or that "we are weird" is accentuated and can lead to a depressive mood.
Consumerism
Worst of all, there are people who feel obliged to adapt to a pre-established script about how the celebrations should be during these holidays.
The advertising campaigns of the consumer society seem to "pressure" us to spend significant amounts of money attending social lunches and dinners of various groups, it has also been established as a priority at this time of year to give gifts. It seems that love has to be shown with gifts and the size or cost of the gift is comparable to the intensity of love we have for that person.
Not receiving gifts or having an insufficient economy to meet these requirements, generates feelings of discomfort or inferiority.
In the circumstances we live in, many people have become unemployed, this item can become important in the reasons for unrest.
The frustration of the balance of the year
Christmas and the end of the year are times to reflect on what has been achieved during the period that has just ended. We become aware of the unachieved goals, the shortcomings, the mistakes made. Not having achieved the goals set at the beginning of the year also generates frustration, guilt, anger with oneself. They may even think that they never achieve their goals. It can represent a disappointment of oneself. This stress is caused by self-demanding and can even become somatized, generating feelings of anxiety, negativity, moodiness, eating problems and sleep disorders.
Loneliness
Being with ourselves can be pleasant or bearable, however at this time, not having someone to spend the holidays with can awaken feelings of not being loved, of abandonment, of sadness.
Childhood nostalgia
Christmas is a really happy time for children. We've all been kids at some point. It is possible to miss the magic of that time and experience a nostalgia that weighs on the heart.
Strained family relationships
Families go through difficult times in life. There may be recent deaths, family members away, separation, break-ups, problems between some of their members. Prudence and empathy are our best allies in these cases. If we do not know how to deal with emotional issues, it is best to remain silent. It is valid to show how we feel, but always taking into account how others may take it.
It is also important to talk to the children about what the environment might be like so that they are not taken by surprise, for example; this year when Grandpa died, Grandma might feel a little sad.
We can give you some guidelines about what to do or not to do depending on the specific circumstances.
What do you do if Christmas makes you sad?
But whatever the reason for your unhappiness, you should try to find out what really hurts you or why this holiday period affects you. Christmas itself is not harmful; the pain or anguish it causes you comes from some unresolved conflict of your own.
In order to give it a solution, it is important that you know what it is, because that is where you should work so that this time does not bring about anguish in your life.
Here are some tips on how to combat all these causes of sadness It is essential to remember that Christmas is not eternal, it has a beginning and an end. Therefore, put all causes of concern into perspective. Also, based on your circumstances, consider what you can do to enjoy a happy Christmas.
Sometimes a few small changes of one's own can reverse the sadness and make Christmas a quieter, more conflict-free time.
Differentiate between cultural and advertising mandates and your own desires. Be assertive! Every person has the right to live Christmas according to personal criteria.
Adjust your budget to your financial possibilities in order to avoid excessive expenses. If you feel like giving gifts you can opt for something symbolic. Affection should not be measured by money spent
Say "no" to those social events you don't want to attend. Do it assertively, without guilt, with love and respect. The smart thing to do is to choose where you want to be and with whom.
Use humor and intelligence. Laughter is very healthy. Remember that many of the images of "perfect couples and families at Christmas" are unrealistic and have a commercial purpose. Christmas is one of the times of the year when conflicts between people or between families are most apparent.
Look for the good in the bad. There always is. Positivize!
Change the label. Certain situations like Christmas are neither good nor bad. It depends on how we read about them. Look for the best possible interpretation in your case.
Don't hold on to the sadness. Emotions are fleeting: as they come, they go. If you cling to sadness and feed it sad or negative thoughts, sadness settles longer and deeper in you. Keep in mind that it is okay to be sad for a while, but allow the sadness to move away little by little, just as the waves of the sea do from the shore. Remember that they "always pass". January 7 always comes and with it the end of Christmas.
If you are going to spend it with yourself, maybe enjoying some good movies, a good book or an interesting lecture on YouTube could be a good alternative.
Whether you enjoy this holiday or not depends on where you want to put your focus. If you focus on something positive, on what you do have, on what you can enjoy no matter how small, Christmas can be a time of enjoyment and joy for you.
If in spite of all your state of mind you do not recover and you feel depressed at Christmas a psychologist can help you to overcome the sadness and feel better.
Gloria Sánchez Aguilar has a degree in Psychology and works as a psychotherapist.
