The blue door of the home of Jiawei and Manuel, better known as Manny, cheerfully welcomes us to talk with them about what goes on behind the lion-shaped door knocker.
Love knows no borders, and the coming together of different cultures in relationships is a testament to the diversity and richness of human connections. In the case of Jiawei and Manny, their union shows the intricate embroidery of cultural similarities and differences.
Jiawei Wang is the eldest son of a family from Baoji in China. His parents own a ship gear company, but Jiawei sought his own path and is now a Kinesiologist trained at San Francisco State University.
Manny Vargas -now Manny Wang- is the middle brother of five, born in Las Vegas to Mexican parents. Manny is a physician assistant for otolaryngologists.
The chemistry of this couple is evident in the smiles they throw at each other as they look into each other's eyes to answer our questions. The physical attraction they feel for each other is palpable. Jiawei is affectionate and shows his love by being snug to his partner.
China and Mexico, two countries with different histories, traditions, and languages, provide a fascinating backdrop for this cross-cultural love story. The fusion of Chinese and Mexican cultures incorporates a multitude of customs, celebrations, and family values, which creates a unique and vibrant embroidery of experiences.
Manny explains that he has always been drawn to Chinese culture. "In this sense, I like to ask Gugo [as he affectionately calls him] about the particular festivities of certain regions or the food used in those celebrations."
They tell us that they now share traditions from each other's countries at home. During the Lunar New Year, for example, Jiawei brings to the house small lamps and well-wishing signs with which they decorate together. He is also in charge of buying the food.
Both Chinese and Mexican cultures have a rich culinary heritage. From the tantalizing flavors of Chinese cuisine, emphasizing regional specialties and delicate balance of ingredients, to the vast array of Mexican dishes, the Wang couple explores and appreciates the delicious fusion of flavors that combines these two culinary traditions.
It's in the kitchen that the Wang couple bonds under the same roof. Preparing food is an act of love, says Manny. Jiawei, who loves to cook, prepares dishes from his culture at home, which he gets from his mother, we are told, who is also an excellent cook. Jiawei even bought a cookie baking kit and bakes Manny some as a token of his daily affection. "He cooks very well," Manny verifies in an interview.
For his part, Manny invites Jiawei to participate in Mexican traditions, whose food plays a starring role. Jiawei enjoys the celebration on January 6, when the Three Wise Men arrive at night, and the Rosca is cut and shared as a family. He also likes to participate in the Candelaria, on February 2, for the abundance of tamalitos served that night, and the Christmas dinner for the codfish that is prepared.
But it's not all honey on oats, as we say in Spanish [pardon the pun] because for Jiawei and Manny, things have not been so easy as a cross-cultural gay couple.
Language is one place where certain differences have arisen. Although they use English as the primary communication vehicle in their relationship, it is not the native language for either of them. Chinese, with its complex characters and tonal nature, contrasts with Spanish, which is a Romance language.
Culture-specific characteristics have been both an advantage and a disadvantage for both. "Asian culture is very disciplined, while Mexican culture is more spontaneous." And while Manny admires the discipline with which Jiawei leads his life, he says he sometimes wishes there were more flexibility and good surprises. Nevertheless, they have created a good rhythm in their daily life.
Challenges have not always come from within the couple, but sometimes they have experienced pressure and tensions from outside, more specifically because of their sexual orientation and ethnicity. Both Chinese and Mexican cultures are quite closed to homosexuality.
Chinese culture has a deep history influenced by Confucianism, which prioritizes traditional family values and hierarchical relationships. On the other hand, traditional Mexican society influenced by Catholicism still maintains conservative positions on homosexuality, considering it contrary to religious teachings and social norms.
This has led the Wang couple to live, in a way, isolated and hidden even from some relatives.
They chose the month of June to get married because it is known worldwide as pride month.
We traveled to Kona, Hawaii, to follow the story of this couple on their wedding anniversary trip. The purpose of the trip was to openly celebrate their recent marriage with family and friends who accompanied them.
One of the festivities was to be held at a Luau at the Royal Hotel in Kona. The evening went off without significant mishaps; they even took the couple and family pictures until it was time for the master of ceremonies to announce the microphone and the song that would be dedicated to them for their love.
The couple waited impatiently for the recent marriage bond to be publicly announced, but their names were never heard as the announcer reached the end of the list. This journalist approached the stage while the song was playing and informed the singer that he had forgotten to mention the couple who had previously written down their names.
Mr. and Mr. Wang just got married, I declared. I noticed the confusion on his face, Mr., and Mrs. Wang? he asked. No, I clarified, Mr. and Mr. Wang. He didn't understand.
Mrs. and Mr. Wang?" he asked again. No. I raised the volume of my voice: they are Mr. and Mr. Wang, two men who just got married. He hesitated. He took the microphone and awkwardly announced, "Mr. and Mrs. Wang are celebrating their anniversary."
This is just one example of how homosexual couples suffer discrimination because of their invisibility, as society marginalizes and suppresses these relationships and identities.
It occurs when couples' experiences, challenges, and contributions are overlooked, disregarded or intentionally ignored, often due to heteronormative assumptions or prejudices. Invisibilizing is a form of discrimination..
Unfortunately, during the Wang couple's trip, the Luau experience was not the only one where we observed both homophobic and racist discrimination against the couple.
The couple, accompanied by family and friends, visited the town of Hilo, where the delicious Pineapples Island Fresh Cuisine restaurant opened its doors and accommodated 25 people at three tables. Highly recommended the place.
Between piña colada cocktails, margaritas and mojitos, the matriarch of the congregation announced a toast to the newlyweds, Jiawei and Manny, who briefly stood up to receive the applause and jubilation of the guests and the surrounding tables.
However, the news was not entirely well received by other diners, who, instead of applauding and joining in the festivities, whispered among themselves with looks of disgust, hatred, or fear, perhaps. Fortunately, the violent attitude did not escalate and remained in a silence, overshadowed by the noise of the three tables of cheerleaders accompanying the grooms.
When asked what they felt about what happened in the interview, they suggested that there is a kind of double discrimination. For it is difficult to know if those gazes were due to the union of someone whose features refer to someone Asian with someone brown and Mexican; or if it was because they were celebrating the marriage of two men.
In general, LGBTQ+ people, not only in Chinese and Mexican cultures but across the board, are experiencing greater acceptance and inclusion. But it is a constant and ongoing struggle as there are still challenges to overcome and work to be done.
This inspiring couple embraces and celebrates their cultural differences and similarities through their relationship. They share their Chinese and Mexican customs and traditions, creating a beautiful blend that reflects their love and shared experiences. Learning from each other, they can grow together uniquely and meaningfully.
The growing visibility and activism within our cultures indicate a greater understanding of embracing diversity and advocating for equal rights, regardless of sexual orientation or background.
This cross-cultural couple does not have it easy. Their story challenges stereotypes, and encourages personal growth and cultural enrichment.
Standing up with love against the tide of discrimination is more than admirable. It symbolizes love and acceptance in an increasingly interconnected world; it promotes understanding, contributes to a fairer, more equitable society, and takes a step towards a multicultural and inclusive future.
This publication was supported in whole or part by funding provided by the State of California, administered by the California State Library.
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