Gloria Sánchez Aguilar. Peninsula 360 Press [P360P].
Christmas is possibly the most emotionally charged time of the year. We feel everything from excitement and joy to sadness and longing.
The Christmas holidays are one of the most depressing times of the year for people. This phenomenon affects 20 percent of the world's population. People are apathetic, sad and highly susceptible. Why does this happen?
The demand to be cheerful
We are exposed to many advertising messages and cultural traditions that seem to "demand" us to be joyful, in family, with peace and love.
Reality does not always coincide with this state of companionship and affection. Many people find themselves alone or with recent losses of loved ones, due to breakups, separations or deaths. At this time of the year, it is very likely that the feelings of longing and sadness for their absence will intensify. This situation will be magnified this year due to the ravages of the pandemic.
Cultural and commercial messages may then seem like impossible demands. Our perception of isolation, that we are not wanted, or that "we are weird" is accentuated and can lead to a depressive mood.
Consumerism
Worst of all, there are people who feel obliged to adapt to a pre-established script about how celebrations should be during these holidays.
The advertising campaigns of the consumer society seem to "pressure" us to spend significant amounts of money attending meals and social dinners of various groups, it has also been established as a priority at this time of the year to give gifts. It seems that love has to be demonstrated with gifts and the size or cost of the gift is equated to the intensity of the love we have for that person.
Not receiving gifts or having insufficient finances to meet these requirements generates feelings of discomfort or inferiority.
In the circumstances we live in, many people have become unemployed, this item can become important in the reasons for unrest.
The frustration of the balance of the year
Christmas and the end of the year are moments to reflect on what has been achieved during the period that is coming to an end. We become aware of the resolutions not achieved, of the shortcomings, of the mistakes made. Not having achieved the goals set at the beginning of the year also generates frustration, guilt, anger with oneself. They may even think that they never achieve their objectives. It can represent a disappointment of oneself. This stress is caused by self-demand can even somatize generating feelings of anxiety, negativity, bad mood, eating problems and sleep disorders.
Loneliness
Being with ourselves can be pleasant or bearable, but at this time of the year, not having someone to spend the holidays with can awaken feelings of not being loved, of abandonment, of sadness.
Nostalgia for childhood
Christmas is a really happy time for children. We have all been children at one time or another. It is possible to miss the magic of that time and experience a nostalgia that weighs heavy on the heart.
Strained family relationships
Families go through difficult moments in life. There may be recent deaths, family members far away, separation, breakups, problems between some of its members. Prudence and empathy are our best allies in these cases. If we do not know how to deal with emotional issues, the best thing to do is to remain silent. It is valid to show how we feel, but always taking into account how others may take it.
It is also important to talk to the children about what the environment may be like so that it doesn't take them by surprise, for example; this year that grandpa died, grandma may feel a little sad.
We can give them some guidelines on what to do or not to do depending on the specific circumstances.
What to do if Christmas makes you sad?
But whatever the reason for your unhappiness, you should try to find out what it is that really hurts you or why this festive period affects you. Christmas in itself is not harmful, the pain or anguish it causes you is due to some unresolved conflict of your own.
In order to find a solution, it is important that you know what it is, because that is where you will have to work so that this time does not mean anguish in your life.
Here are some tips on how to combat all these causes of sadness It is essential to remember that Christmas is not eternal, it has a beginning and an end. Therefore, relativize any cause for concern. Also, based on your circumstances, analyze what you can do to enjoy a merry Christmas..
Sometimes a few small changes of your own can reverse the sadness and turn Christmas into a more peaceful and conflict-free time.
Differentiate between cultural and advertising mandates and your own desires. Be assertive! Each person has the right to live Christmas according to personal criteria.
Adjust your budget to your economic possibilities in order to avoid excessive expenses. If you feel like giving gifts, you can opt for something symbolic. Affection should not be measured by the money spent.
Say "no" to those social events that you do not feel like attending. Do it assertively, without guilt, with affection and respect. The smartest thing to do is to choose where you want to be and with whom.
Use humor and intelligence. Laughter is very healthy. Remember that many of the images of "perfect couples and families at Christmas" are unrealistic and have a commercial purpose. Christmas is one of the times of the year when conflicts between people or families are most evident.
Look for the good in the bad. There always is. Positivize!
Change the label. Certain situations like Christmas are neither good nor bad. It depends on how we read them. Look for the best possible interpretation in your case.
Do not cling to sadness. Emotions are fleeting: just as they come, they go. If you cling to sadness and feed it with sad or negative thoughts, sadness settles longer and deeper in you. Keep in mind that it's okay to be sad for a while, but allow the sadness to gradually recede, like the waves of the sea do from the shore. Remember that "they always pass". January 7 always comes and with it the end of Christmas.
If you are going to spend it with yourself, maybe enjoying some good movies, a good book or an interesting lecture on YouTube could be a good alternative.
Enjoying this holiday season or not, will depend on where you want to put your focus. If you focus on something positive, on what you do have, on what you can enjoy, however small it may be, Christmas can be a time of enjoyment and joy for you.
If despite everything your mood does not recover and you feel depressed at Christmas a psychologist can help you overcome the sadness and feel better.
Gloria Sánchez Aguilar has a degree in Psychology and works as a psychotherapist.
